Navigating Communication (at GoGirl Academy)

By Catherine Lenox, communications specialist who’s blogging for GoGirl Academy. Catherine will always give you her raw and honest opinion.

We all have different communication styles, and different things that motivate us in the workplace. It’s being aware of these differences, and how we deal with them that often determines our success.

 Example: My sister and I had finally arrived in Paris. A long awaited trip, we were standing in the lobby of my favorite hotel on the rue Molière. Located near the Louvre Museum, Palais Royal and Opera Garnier, and within easy reach of a metro line, based on my former trips to Paris, this cozy hotel was my favorite. “Ah,” exclaimed the hotel host,” vous êtes des jumeaux – you are twins! You are booked in a single bed and two women – unacceptable!” So, by happy circumstance, we were relocated to a suite atop the hotel with a stunning view of Paris. This was the start to what was certainly going to be a perfect trip.

Settling into the room, I pulled out my masterpiece. I’d spent weeks compiling a tour book of sights we could see and activities we could do. “So,” my sister said, “what’s our plan?” I proudly showed her my book. “We have options,” I said. “But,” she reiterated, “what about an itinerary?” I replied, “We can choose what we want to do!” Her brow furrowed. “I thought you were going to plan what we’d do,” she said, pitch rising. “I did!” I wailed indignantly. And, that’s when the conversation disintegrated.

This week at GoGirl Academy, instructor Nancy McCaughey showed that understanding the motivations behind other people’s expectations, assumptions and interactions can defuse conflict and build trust. Armed now with tools from GoGirl, I am better equipped to view others’ approaches, both in the workplace and my daily life.

 Based on the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, the Motivational Sketch identifies six motivational types. I am a Satisfaction (SP-NF) and, based on her Myers Briggs testing, my twin is a Credibility (NT-SJ). Performance driven and systematic, Credibility people are uncomfortable in situations of ambiguity. Conversely, Satisfaction people like situations that offer options and flexibility and are uncomfortable in ones that require narrow focus. No wonder our approach to trip organization was different! Though twins, born together and raised in the same environment, the difference in our motivational styles caused friction.

Imagine how much more challenging it is to work with strangers whose motivational styles, backgrounds, and cultural assumptions vary! Conflicts are certain to arise. To navigate through miscommunications, McCaughey presented “the pinch model.” When situations have digressed into a “pinch,” she says, be respectful, listen to the others’ point-of-view, summarize what you heard and keep the pronoun to “this is how I felt when this happened” rather than “you did this to me.”

Also, The Communication Wheel, shared by instructor Suzanne Keel-Eckmann, charts the five areas of communication. Too often communication can leap to an emotional response without any evaluation of why we think what we do or what we want to accomplish. Before making assumptions that the other person is being purposefully annoying – stop, breathe, and listen. Chances are you’ll find, as my sister and I ultimately did, that you both have the same desire for the best possible outcome.

 Posted by Margo Myers, GGA Executive Director (who also tests as a “Satisfaction”)

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